Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
