Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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