I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
