Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
