I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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