If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
