No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
