i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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