12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
