so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
