Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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