There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
