A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
