Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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