i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
