sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
