i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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