After last night, I could never be a politician.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
