It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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