Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
