Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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