getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
