Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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