Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
