Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Text me some of your sweat
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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