He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
