Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
