hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
