My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
