thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
