I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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