I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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