There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
