So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
