Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
