She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
