I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
