I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
