Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
