Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
