Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am one with the molecules
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
