# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
