Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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