I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
