im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
