I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
