dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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