i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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