just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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