carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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